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Daeldalus
Daeldalus Reader
1/10/18 12:58 p.m.

My church does a big chili cooking competition every year. The last two years it has been won by subpar entries that had really ridiculous names. The one that comes to mind was " hickory smoked bacon and slow roasted pork chili" it was over the top (both in name and flavor) it was watery. It was bad. But it won the judges somehow.

I want to troll the competition this year by making a super pompous name for my chili and see what happens. 

The plan right now is to either do a super standard chili but with top quality ingredients or to do a Mexican spiced chili.

 

Go ahead and throw out some ridiculous names for those entries for me.

RossD
RossD MegaDork
1/10/18 1:01 p.m.

"Pope approved Chili"

"Spicier than the Virgin Mary" Chili"

"Jesus cooked this Chili" Chili.

"Hotter than Hell" Chili

 

*I'm not the most churchy of people ...so, I mean nothing but humor with these. laugh

Toyman01
Toyman01 MegaDork
1/10/18 1:07 p.m.

In reply to RossD :

I'm pretty sure the Good Lord appreciates a good joke. Just look around. 

"I Cant Believe it's Just Chili"

mtn
mtn MegaDork
1/10/18 1:10 p.m.

"The winning chili recipe"

"Make Chili great again"

"The secret ingredient is Chili"

"The secret ingredient is illegal in four states"

"Wink if you want the special chili"

slefain
slefain PowerDork
1/10/18 1:11 p.m.

Nebuchadnezzar's Furnace Flamin' Hot Chili

Moses' Night Light Chili - Like eating a pillar of fire

slantvaliant
slantvaliant UltraDork
1/10/18 1:11 p.m.

Try using the actual varietal names for the chiles involved, and a fancy name for the meat.  "Arbol, Cascabel, and Ancho Chiles with Artisan-ground Angus"

or, for fun:

"Forgive Me My Capsaicin"

"Darn the Tomatillos - Full Heat Ahead Chili"

When my company did a chili contest, my attempt included an SDS (Safety Data Sheet), and specific warnings for women, children, and Yankees.  I tied for second, losing to one that sounded like the one the OP mentioned.

 

 

Marjorie Suddard
Marjorie Suddard General Manager
1/10/18 1:16 p.m.

These are all super-bullE36 M3ty but still accurate descriptions of a "normal" chili:

Slow simmered sirloin (chuck, whatever) with sweet bell and smoke-dried jalapeno peppers (the latter are just chipotles, so likely accurate)

Traditional guisar style with slow-simmered beef and a classic sofrito

Classic chili using locally sourced beef and market-fresh produce

 

Margie

 

Trans_Maro
Trans_Maro PowerDork
1/10/18 1:17 p.m.

"your name"'s chili! "Put my meat in your mouth!"

 

Arrogant bastard chili "Don't bother, you won't like it"

Daeldalus
Daeldalus Reader
1/10/18 1:26 p.m.

I am loving all of these! Keep em coming.

 

I also have access to ground deer meat if you can think of some to go with that.

WilD
WilD Dork
1/10/18 1:28 p.m.

Gomorrah Rain

Streetwiseguy
Streetwiseguy UltimaDork
1/10/18 1:34 p.m.

For the GRMers in the crowd:

"Now that's berkeleyin chili!"

SVreX
SVreX MegaDork
1/10/18 1:34 p.m.

Pillar of Fire

Lake of Fire

Holier than Thou

 

Ed Higginbotham
Ed Higginbotham Associate Editor
1/10/18 1:36 p.m.

Martin Luther's 95 Ingredients

slefain
slefain PowerDork
1/10/18 1:38 p.m.

Legion's High Dive Pork Chili

Upper Room Flaming Head Chili

Dancing Tongue Chili

 

Ransom
Ransom PowerDork
1/10/18 1:38 p.m.

Cleansing Fire

Brimstone Bouillabaisse (I know, no fish in it, but couldn't pass up the alliteration)

Fire in the Belly

Holy Cow (assuming beef)

Assorted Free Range Cow Meat and Gathered/Curated Herbs and Spices

 

Stefan
Stefan MegaDork
1/10/18 1:45 p.m.

Chili that is streets ahead Chili

Still trying to make streets ahead a thing Chili

You'll touch yourself after eating my Chili Chili

Your priest won't touch you after this Chili

Thumper's Revenge (for chili with Deer meat) Chili

This chili is good enough for Jehovah aka Chili that's good enough to be stoned to death for

I am not the Messiah, just a naughty boy Chili

Blessed are the Cheese makers (or any manufacturers of dairy products) Chili

I'd of eaten that, if I wasn't listening to Big Nose Chili

This Chili will make you change your name to Biggus Dickus

SVreX
SVreX MegaDork
1/10/18 1:45 p.m.

Tongues of Fire

A2:3 (Biblical reference - Acts 2:3)

 

SVreX
SVreX MegaDork
1/10/18 1:46 p.m.

Better than Dancing

SVreX
SVreX MegaDork
1/10/18 1:50 p.m.

Israelite's Poison (assuming pork)

John Welsh
John Welsh Mod Squad
1/10/18 1:52 p.m.

 

Might want to add in the words:

  • Artisan
  • Crafted
  • Small batch
  • Local
  • Organic
  • locally sourced
  • etc

Hand of God Chili

Hell Hath No Furry

3 types of beans for a Trinity reference

 

oldrotarydriver
oldrotarydriver New Reader
1/10/18 1:53 p.m.

For the aviators:  "AB Zone 5 Chili", "Shock Diamonds Chili"

For the gutless, "This Ain't Chihuahua Chow Chili" (Taco Bell dog ads)

For the clueless, "My Pretty Floral Bonnet Chili" (active ingredient: Scotch Bonnets)

RevRico
RevRico UltraDork
1/10/18 1:55 p.m.

The 12 Anchos

Beezlebubs bile

 

Sparkydog
Sparkydog New Reader
1/10/18 1:56 p.m.

Trumpet Ass Chili

Free Range Artisanal Chili (gluten free!)

Dumb and Dumber Toilet Session Chili

SVreX
SVreX MegaDork
1/10/18 1:56 p.m.

Dear meat:

Ground up Bambi

Buck You

Rudolph's Revenge

Panteth for Water (Ps 42:1)

 

Driven5
Driven5 SuperDork
1/10/18 1:57 p.m.

"This chili won't win because it's good chili with a bad name and not the other way around."

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