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z31maniac Dork
7/10/10 1:12 a.m.

I just want to say I feel incredibly lucky that mine is happy with the more modest ring I proposed to her with last month, and that next month we are having a VERY small ceremony at the "Little White Wedding Chapel" in Vegas with only our parents attending.

Good luck OP in whatever you decide to do.

Just don't put yourself in a position you end up regretting. Nothing like a healthy dose of resentment to taint a relationship.

1988RedT2 Reader
7/10/10 7:23 a.m.
captain_napalm wrote: Fair enough, but I know far too many women who think that their ring should be at least a carat. Of course, none of these women are married...


bamalama HalfDork
7/10/10 8:20 a.m.
xd wrote: You know a ring suppose to cost 3 months salary right? What I find really weird is people who are not financially able to support a wife getting married. I would not get married if I were you until first, you can spend 3 months salary on a ring and Second you can afford a wedding and a 20% down payment on a house. . If this means you have to work 2 or 3 jobs at a time then that is what it means. Its called working for what you want. Also working 2 or 3 jobs gives you time decide if this is what you really want. So sell all your crap and pay off your debt. If you can't bring yourself to do that you are not even close to being ready to get married. Maybe I'm old school. Don't buy a CZ. You can tell the difference. So can all the people your wife comes into contact with. That would be embarrassing for not only her but you also. The ring, the marriage it's all about security. If you can't provide security for your future wife don't get married. Baring like a knocked up girlfriend and a shot gun wielding father.

Man, where was all this awesome information when I got married eight years ago? Since I didn't have a job, 3 months x $0 meant I wouldn't have had to buy a ring at all.

I paid 300 bucks for a trio set, we got married at the courthouse. One year later I sold one of my cars to pay for a church wedding. The whole thing might have been a couple grand. Over time we've both nearly destroyed our rings, so we're both wearing $25 bands from Walmart until our 10th anniversary where we may or may not get some nicer ones.

gamby SuperDork
7/10/10 11:03 a.m.

The funny thing about the 3 months salary thing is that it used to be 2 months salary. I don't know when it crossed over to 3.

wbjones Dork
7/10/10 11:16 a.m.
z31maniac wrote: ^Even though I don't believe in the whole big expenditure thing, I don't see anything wrong with a woman that you love wanting a firm commitment.

and getting married itself isn't seen as a firm commitment ?

SVreX SuperDork
7/10/10 11:39 a.m.

You are not ready for marriage, and your finances are in a shambles. I don't even see her on your your original list of 3 priorities (I see a "rock", but no consideration of her importance in your life). You don't even refer to her by name or by significant title (like girlfriend, fiance, or beloved), you refer to her as "SO".

I was once told by a man that I "Just wanted the milk without buying the cow". I was living with his daughter. I thought he was an old fool, and just didn't understand "modern" times.

He was right.

I was selfish and much more concerned with my own comfort than with the welfare of his daughter.

I know you won't want to hear this, but here goes.

If you are not ready to buy the cow, stop stealing the milk.

-Happily married for 25 years. I value her more than life itself.

gamby SuperDork
7/10/10 11:39 a.m.

In reply to wbjones:

Considering the 50%+ divorce rate, for many, I'd say "no".

wbjones Dork
7/10/10 11:43 a.m.

and a diamond makes this better how..??

1988RedT2 Reader
7/10/10 2:35 p.m.

I may have been something of a repeat offender in regards to "stealing the milk", but it did save me from buying a lot of cows that I would have had to find a way to get rid of.

triumph5 Reader
7/10/10 3:24 p.m.

In reply to Platinum90: Did you spend any time today on the Supra's wiring? (see early posts this thread)

Buzz Killington
Buzz Killington HalfDork
7/10/10 3:57 p.m.
Platinum90 wrote: We have been dating since 16, and we have lived together for almost a year. I don't personally see what difference in our life that a ring would make. We wouldn't treat each other differently, and we wouldn't love each other more, and our lives would only change in that there would be one more bill to pay.

if you guys have been together for a long time, i STRONGLY doubt the ring itself is what she really cares about.

i was with my wife for over 8 years before we got engaged, and i did it on my own time, no matter what her friends or my friends said. she didn't give me a lot of pressure, but i knew how she felt. and i said all those same things to myself. but the reality was that she would've been happy to get married at city hall without a diamond. she didn't give a damn about the ring, but i did, so i waited until i could afford a good one. plus all of those things i was telling myself were just b/c i wasn't yet ready to take that step.

what you need to do is decide whether YOU want to marry her, and if you are ready to do so. if you're not ready, that's fine, but have that talk with her. try to understand how she feels; one of the keys to a good relationship is understanding how the other person feels, and why, even if it's not something you "get" right away.

Platinum90 SuperDork
7/10/10 4:00 p.m.
triumph5 wrote: In reply to Platinum90: Did you spend any time today on the Supra's wiring? (see early posts this thread)

In a way. One of the techs at work told me he would help me through the week if I brought the car up to our shop.

Today was my big interview with the school, and I think that it went well. She actually suggested that we get a courtroom wedding for now so that I can take better advantage of federal student aid.

I have the engine bay about 50% wired, but I need to get some new injector clips, new bolts for the throttle body, and a few other items. I got the engine to static time, and cleaned up my dads garage (where the car is).

triumph5 Reader
7/10/10 4:07 p.m.

In reply to Platinum90 Ah, progress on all fronts then. Good.

Trans_Maro Dork
7/10/10 5:07 p.m.

Funny, my wife said "I don't want to buy a whole pig just to get some sausage"


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