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SKJSS (formerly Klayfish)
SKJSS (formerly Klayfish) PowerDork
6/23/22 4:32 p.m.

This is a very interesting topic and pride is a very subjective thing I think.  I used to be a very "proud" type of guy.  Then my marriage crumbled and I went through some very difficult years (tried for a few years to save the marriage, which made things worse).  Got divorced and found myself alone, depressed, and just having utterly zero pride.  Hell, I even felt guilty for any little challenges my kids had.  As I started to rebuild my life, my perspective totally changed.  Not sure how else to say it, but I kind of stopped wondering what I could be proud of, what I possessed and things like that.  I just wanted to live day to day and enjoy each one as it comes.  Using that, I have strengthened my relationship with my kids, gotten remarried and have even started to rebuild a peaceful and friendly relationship with my ex.  Things are better for me now than they've been in decades.

I guess the moral of the story for me is that I don't look for things to be proud of as a whole.  I'm truly proud to just wake up each morning and make the best of that day.  Maybe at bed I can say I did something nice for one of my kids, had a good day at work, had a great day with my wife, you name it.  I take pride in each day that passes and how I'm just living my life in general.  As the phrase goes, I'm living my best life now.  That makes me proud.

Johnboyjjb HalfDork
6/23/22 5:00 p.m.

I've coached 3 people into successful early retirement, guided 2 families out of crippling debt to positive net worth, and have raised my children to be both generous with money and time as well effective spenders, givers, and savers.

Makes me happy.

preach (dudeist priest)
preach (dudeist priest) Dork
6/23/22 5:34 p.m.

In reply to stroker :

I drive my dream car. I'm not proud about that though, this is more Cash's Ragged Old Flag.

I am a blue collar NH redneck, think torn flannel shirt, wasted slip on Vans, greasy stained Wrangler jeans kind of guy.

I dropped out of college, I eventually got an Associate degree.

I lied about knowing how to use a kitchen knife so I didn't have to wash dishes and ended up managing kitchens. Eventually working in the Caribbean as a cook/bartender then when hurricane season showed up I consulted and opened other peoples restaurants.

I tried to get into the family real estate business, then I realized that they are scheisters and I cannot lie to people to sell them a E36 M3ty house. I was also a property manager for about 400 units. I berkeleying hated being a paid landlord. I was miserable.

I finally, at 38 years old (2008), got a decent career with benefits and a retirement. It was a huge loss of income for me to start. After 10 years there I became a supervisor.

Back to the car. I have been a car guy all my life, ripped apart my first SBC at about 8. In 2006 a car came out that I HAD to have, I was still failing at real estate at the time. Well, I am pretty patient and knew the car would depreciate as they all do. In 2016 the dream got to an affordable point, it would hurt but I could swing it. I traveled to CA for work specifically to find the car and drive it home to NH. I did that, knowing I'd have to bust my ass to afford it. I honestly only work to provide for my wife and I and to buy cars and car parts. It's a disease.

Am I proud that I own the car? No. I felt like a berkeleying hard on at first. But, damn man, I was actually driving my berkeleying dream. Getting roped into conversations every time I gassed up or went to a store was initially difficult. I don't get embarrassed oddly, but I'd feel like I was above my station in life when I'd get in that situation. Man, I grew up in a trailer yet here I am driving this car and having this conversation.

Back to Johnny Cash and Ragged Old Flag.

One day at the local grocery store the kid gathering the shopping carts commented: "Nice car sir, you must be proud to own it."

I thought about it for a second then replied: "Well, I love this car. I smile every time I drive it. And let me tell you kid, I am proof that dreams come true. I'm not proud I own it, I am proud that I took the steps TO own it. I bust my ass and work over 3000 hours a year so I can sit in that seat. 2080 is a normal 40hr work week. Bust your ass kid and you can drive your dream car."

I paid the car off 1.5 years early and had saved $10k to put into it after it was paid off. Long hours, lots of blood, a couple broken bones but I did it.

I am still friends with that kid. He drives a cool Honda civic and just bought a turbo civic hatch. I think he's 17 years now.

I might be a ragged old northern redneck but I am proud that I can bust ass as needed.

Folgers Reader
6/23/22 5:48 p.m.

I haven’t been late, to or for anything, for just under 20 years. 

OHSCrifle UltraDork
6/23/22 6:36 p.m.

Approaching $2B worth of BUILDINGS that I had a hand in designing. 

Mentoring young architects and having them like me. 

Treating people with respect. 

Steve_Jones Dork
6/23/22 6:43 p.m.

My kindness. I do nice things for people and genuinely enjoy it. Their joy becomes my joy. It's not something you go to college for. It can be taught,  but it's more like a religion or philosophy. You just feel it in your guts. And it feels good.

Captdownshift (Forum Supporter)
Captdownshift (Forum Supporter) MegaDork
6/23/22 6:54 p.m.

I'm fairly confident that not all of swmbo'ed orgasms have been faked. 

6/23/22 7:11 p.m.

Non-tourist travel to some interesting places. I have seen a broad swath of the planet and learned that everyone everywhere is just doing their best to get by day-by-day with what they have. I'm doing OK so far and that is as good as it gets.

Antihero PowerDork
6/23/22 7:19 p.m.

The company that I'm currently running was a dream that my father, a close family friend and I dreamed up years ago when we were working for crappy bosses for not enough money. To some this doesn't sound like much but we started this with literally nothing and busted our asses to get here. I haven't advertised in about a decade now and get work thru word of mouth.

Im doing a job for a guy that's been around here forever and owns a local store. There's been a concrete shortage for awhile now and I told him that we would be pouring tomorrow. He asked me what I had said to them to get concrete so fast, he can't get it for at least 2 weeks.


I told him that I didn't tell them anything, I called up and they said " Hey Eric, when do you need concrete?" I'm proud that we are where we are from where we started.


I try to make the world a better place around me, whether it's something small like holding open a door or saying thank you to checkers/wait staff/etc but I can't say it makes me proud so much as I think it's a societal obligation that most have forgot.

NY Nick
NY Nick Dork
6/23/22 7:52 p.m.

For me it is about being the best me I can be. I know that sounds cliche but I mean it. I find when I try to compare myself to others it never feels good. People have more, people have less. I used to compare myself to my sister jokingly. What I found was somewhere deep down it wasn't a complete joke and it made me feel like E36 M3. 
Help people where you can, no matter how small. Buy the next guy in line a coffee or lemonade from the kid that makes a stand. Do your best at whatever you do; being a parent, work, your house, your car etc. etc.  That is all you can do.

I understand people get in a funk, I hope you work through it. You matter, what you do matters. I am convinced that I have no idea what kind of an impact I have made on individuals. I don't think many of the people that have had an impact on me realize it. Know that you may have already positively changed someone's life and they are sitting around wondering what ever happened to you.

Gary UberDork
6/23/22 9:35 p.m.

I made it to 73 years old with very few serious regrets. Mistakes? Many. But just a few regrets. And I've learned to live with them. Now I'm retired and enjoying life.

Pete. (l33t FS)
Pete. (l33t FS) MegaDork
6/23/22 10:47 p.m.

My integrity.  I keep true to myself and what I believe is correct, and I am stubborn as a mule about it.

If you don't have yourself, you have nothing.

Robbie (Forum Supporter)
Robbie (Forum Supporter) MegaDork
6/23/22 10:59 p.m.
Steve_Jones said:

My kindness. I do nice things for people and genuinely enjoy it. Their joy becomes my joy. It's not something you go to college for. It can be taught,  but it's more like a religion or philosophy. You just feel it in your guts. And it feels good.

What is going on here? Same exact post as Appleseed?

Steve_Jones Dork
6/23/22 11:07 p.m.

In reply to Robbie (Forum Supporter) :

And it somehow took 4 hours for someone to notice. It's also done in jest. 

Cousin_Eddie (Forum Supporter)
Cousin_Eddie (Forum Supporter) Dork
6/24/22 6:46 a.m.

I was raised poor. Very poor. Single wide trailer with no phone, no television. We only had electricity. We never had the money to turn the gas on, so I was raised taking cold showers and eating things that were cooked on a single electric hot plate. My senior year of high school I had one pair of pants that I wore to school every day.

I just retired this May from my career in the fire service. I was 48 years old at the time. I ran a whole lot of calls on a very very busy fire truck. I saved some lives. I helped countless people. Upon my retirement the Chief said that I was one who truly did my job with my heart and it showed to everyone on every call that I ran. I used to mentor the new young firemen in the department to "do it like you mean it", not just for the money and cool tee shirts that come with the job.

That is all the core to my greatest accomplishment. My beloved Valerie helped pick me up and dust me off and saved me 14 years ago. At the time I was divorced and on a bad path. She saw something in me and married me and I have gotten better every day since then. My retirement will pay until both of us die. So if I keel over today, she will draw a solid retirement until she passes away no matter how long she lives. I have provided a core financial security for my soul mate for the rest of her life no matter what happens. To me that's a whole lot for a dude who came from a single wide trailer with one pair of pants.

stroker PowerDork
6/24/22 7:47 a.m.
Gary said:

I made it to 73 years old with very few serious regrets. Mistakes? Many. But just a few regrets. And I've learned to live with them. Now I'm retired and enjoying life.

Now THAT is an interesting distinction.  I need to think about that. Thank you. 

AngryCorvair (Forum Supporter)
AngryCorvair (Forum Supporter) MegaDork
6/24/22 8:13 a.m.
Captdownshift (Forum Supporter) said:

I'm fairly confident that not all of swmbo'ed orgasms have been faked. 

does that include the ones with you?

i keed, i keed!

bobzilla MegaDork
6/24/22 8:25 a.m.

I'm not much on pride. Im proud of my wife for sticking it out in the teaching world of special ed and doing her part to make a difference. I'm proud of my friends that have made something of their lives and forged ahead despite their difficulties. I typically view whatever it is that I do as doing what's necessary and expected. When I volunteer for track day or autox stuff it was always to make sure everyone had a great time and he events went as smoothly as I could help them be, but my selfish side also made sure that I got to play and have fun so it's far from altruistic. 

I have a home that we have worked hard for. We have no debt which we worked even harder for. My wife can finally retire early in 6 years. We have two amazing animals we call our babies. But these are all just things that our hard work and effort has resulted in.

I guess I'm odd, I don't really carry much in the way of "pride" and am way too critical on myself (or so my old therapist said and she was pretty smart). 

Captdownshift (Forum Supporter)
Captdownshift (Forum Supporter) MegaDork
6/24/22 8:48 a.m.

In reply to AngryCorvair (Forum Supporter) :

I was expecting Stampie to make that response ;) 

Pete. (l33t FS)
Pete. (l33t FS) MegaDork
6/24/22 8:51 a.m.
Captdownshift (Forum Supporter) said:

In reply to AngryCorvair (Forum Supporter) :

I was expecting Stampie to make that response ;) 

I'm happy someone stepped up to the plate before I had to.  devil

GameboyRMH MegaDork
6/24/22 11:28 a.m.

Well if infinitenexus can't feel accomplished, I doubt any of us have a chance laugh

But after 20 minutes of mind-blown shock and looking up facts about Wilt Chamberlain I have more serious thoughts on the matter, firstly that our concept of "accomplishment" AKA "success" is pretty messed up. The Western definition of "accomplished" we're probably used to is almost a proxy factor for "exploitative." Jeff Bezos is very "accomplished" because he's built a company that offers soul-crushing jobs to its white-collar workers and bone-crushing jobs to its blue-collar workers while squeezing lots of small retailers out of business all so we can conveniently order cheap doodads online for more than they cost on AliExpress with occasionally faster shipping. Jeff's accomplishment is built on the misery of at least hundreds of thousands of people.

On a smaller scale, if Toyman were to wake up tomorrow and decide to be a jerk boss and squeeze his employees for all they can give, he might soon appear more "accomplished," with a bigger company with more (now unhappy) employees and more personal wealth. But how would that be helpful?

A lot of poor and exotic places have a concept of accomplishment that's based on how many children you've had and how healthy they are, and how many children those children have had. While not exactly helpful in the ecological grand scheme of things, it's actually worlds better than the Western concept because it encourages being a good parent, which is purely a good thing. Even though it might seem like a recipe for runaway overpopulation it actually encourages more long-term thinking than the Western concept, which is indifferent to what kind of world you leave for your chilren or whether the planet implodes the day after you die (perhaps even as a direct consequence of your "success")

So "accomplishment" as we know it is not something you should aspire to, it's a destructive concept society is pushing on us, probably for the purpose of exculpating those at the top from what they had to do to get on top. Don't try to be "accomplished," try to be kind as Appleseed said, make the world a better place than you found it. I'm not accomplished or successful by any of these definitions but I like to think I've made the world better, especially by offering help to those who need it.

If I could alter society's meaning of accomplishment, I'd make it about helping the greatest number of people in non-exploitative ways. Jonas Salk, Clair Patterson, Stanislav Petrov, Vasili Arkhipov, and Linus Torvalds would be among our new giants of accomplishment.

spitfirebill MegaDork
6/24/22 9:23 p.m.
Steve_Jones said:

In reply to Robbie (Forum Supporter) :

And it somehow took 4 hours for someone to notice. It's also done in jest. 

I noticed it and I've only been reading this thread a few minutes.  Been at the beach working on the house and not online much.  How did I realize it, because Steve posted it.  

spitfirebill MegaDork
6/24/22 9:34 p.m.

The OP has pretty much the same experience as me.  I have virtually no real accomplishments or things I'm proud of.  
I have always worked hard at my jobs up to the last two years of my career and it became brutal getting and going to work.  I have never been fired so I am proud of that.  Laid-off, lots of times, never anything of my doing.  I attained almost none of the goals I had set for myself and now that I'm on the downhill slope I get pretty mad at myself.  I do enjoy spoiling my 3 yo granddaughter.   

Racebrick Reader
6/24/22 9:46 p.m.

I have cauliflower ears, and some cool scars.

XLR99 (Forum Supporter)
XLR99 (Forum Supporter) Dork
6/24/22 9:51 p.m.

I think the biggest sources of pride for me are my kids.  Son is 22, after several years of kind of kind of floundering around he's moving towards becoming a trooper with Ohio Highway Patrol; he kicked butt in PT testing  this week so now moves on to psych eval, polygraph test and such. He's a great person and a good example of what the nation needs for new LEOs.

My daughter just graduated HS and will be going to Bowling Green in August. She's a super mega brain (4.3 gpa) .

Ive struggled with the black dog the past few years so have struggled to identify personal sources of pride

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