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mtn
mtn MegaDork
11/9/23 9:35 a.m.

I don't think this is the most painful, but probably the stupidest: Playing men's league hockey, in a game that didn't matter for a league that didn't matter. We were up by 3, there were about 40 seconds left in the game. Opponent took a shot, I reached out to grab it. Caught it right in my hand. I could see "N CZE" on my hand, backwards, imprinted from the raised letters on the puck of "MADE IN CZECH REPUBLIC". It was bruised for about 2 weeks and really was an inconvenience to most things. 

Which made me just think about my toe. I have a little bit of an ingrown toenail. I maintain it regularly. But if I skate too much - like 5 or 6 games in a single day - when I finally take my skates off it goes from zero pain to literally making me wince; I'll have to sit there and just fight through it for about 30-90 seconds before it finally subsides to a dull pain instead of shooting, white hot excruciating pain. Kinda voluntary when you think about it. I know that it is going to happen, and I still do it.

slefain
slefain UltimaDork
11/9/23 10:03 a.m.

Probably rehabbing from my car crash and learning to walk again. The good pain meds were gone and I had to push through the rehab exercises on my own (I had no idea they should have given me OT at home with a professional). Sitting there in my apartment with a printed packet of exercises in my hand cussing through each one pushing a bit further each time.

iansane
iansane Dork
11/9/23 10:18 a.m.

The most painful also lasted the least amount of time I think. The snip and pull during the vasectomy. Oof. Local anethesia doesn't last too long on me, unfortunately. But it's kind of hard to tell the Doc, hurry up!

Tony Sestito
Tony Sestito UltimaDork
11/9/23 12:41 p.m.

I drank a large bottle of Wild Turkey bourbon by myself at my bachelor party, on top of beers and other things. We were at a buddy's house for the festivities for most of the night, so that was good. That night, I proceeded to do the following:

-Had a conversation for 20 minutes with a pile of wood that I thought was my friend

-Stumbled and got in a fistfight with the ground in my friend's backyard, yelling that I was going to beat up gravity

-Ran through a fire pit and slightly caught fire

-Fell countless times HARD

And then the real fun started. I got sick over and over and over uncontrollably, and stumbling toward my friend's back door, I actually fell through the open door onto my friend's back deck, breaking the threshold to his house, and almost falling off the deck. As I stumbled, I went to brace myself on his kitchen counter, but instead flipped an entire large wooden bowl of apples in the air, hosing them down on the way out, and my friends thought the apples came from me. It was the grossest. 

The whole night, I was sick over and over to the point where my entire body felt like I got turned inside out and thrown through an industrial grinder. The pain the next morning between being sore from falling over and over and being sick was some of the worst I ever felt. And I did it all to myself. I ruined bourbon and most hard liquor for myself forever after that. 

Never tangle with the Turkey. He is a jerk. 

Duke
Duke MegaDork
11/9/23 1:38 p.m.

In reply to Tony Sestito :

When I was in college, a dude on my hall (known as Spock, for some reason) used to fill his bong with Wild Turkey.  At the end of a night's toke-up, he would drink the Turkey.

Fueled by Caffeine said:

Sinus surgery.

I have been fortunate enough to never need it, but the idea of sinus surgery gives me chills of dread.

[edit]  On the OT, I guess I haven't ever really volunteered for anything I knew in advance would painful, though I have accidentally hurt myself doing voluntary activities:

  • Got a concussion while skateboarding
  • Ripped a bunch of tendons in my ankle while skateboarding
  • Knocked my front teeth out on a dirt bike
  • Dislocated my shoulder on a dirt bike

 

Jerry
Jerry PowerDork
11/9/23 1:44 p.m.

Hmm married for 14 years, or the recent extraction of all my teeth while fully awake last month.  Tough choice.

z31maniac
z31maniac MegaDork
11/9/23 1:56 p.m.
Duke said:

When I was in college, a dude on my hall (known as Spock, for some reason) used to fill his bong with Wild Turkey.  At the end of a night's toke-up, he would drink the Turkey.

Oh god, that sounds horrible. We smoked a lot in college, the smell of bong water is aboslutely horrific. I can't imagine wanted to drink liquor that has been smoked through. 

Nicole Suddard
Nicole Suddard Marketing Coordinator
11/9/23 4:04 p.m.

Not 100% intentional but for a while I was using a peroxide solution to clean my contact lenses, they went into a special case that neutralized it over time and as long as you left them in there for 6+ hours they'd come out fine to put in your eyes.
One morning after staying up too late, I was getting ready for a substitute teaching gig and decided, eh, they've been in the solution long enough, what's the worst that could happen?
The worst that could happen was terrible stinging and a few minutes of very scary temporary blindness. Long story short, the school had to find a substitute teacher for the substitute teacher that day.

Katie Wilson
Katie Wilson Advertising Coordinator
11/9/23 4:15 p.m.

In reply to NY Nick :

I second an adult tonsillectomy. The kicker is that to relieve the pain, you have to essentially put the painkillers THROUGH the wound. 

I lost 20lbs in 2 weeks from my throat hurting so bad that I just couldn't eat. I could barely drink water.

z31maniac
z31maniac MegaDork
11/9/23 4:40 p.m.
Nicole Suddard said:

Not 100% intentional but for a while I was using a peroxide solution to clean my contact lenses, they went into a special case that neutralized it over time and as long as you left them in there for 6+ hours they'd come out fine to put in your eyes.
One morning after staying up too late, I was getting ready for a substitute teaching gig and decided, eh, they've been in the solution long enough, what's the worst that could happen?
The worst that could happen was terrible stinging and a few minutes of very scary temporary blindness. Long story short, the school had to find a substitute teacher for the substitute teacher that day.

I did something similar one time. I was at my then girlfriends house and didn't realize she used that type of solution vs saline solution I had always used. I pulled them out to rinse them off since I had slept in them..........WOW I didn't get the temporary blindness you did, but it was pretty painful for a few hours.

spitfirebill
spitfirebill MegaDork
11/9/23 5:16 p.m.

#1  Been married 48 years (49 in Dec). 

#2  I had a radical prostatectomy.   The doctor didn't believe in pain meds and I got nothing after the surgery.  Doctor gave me a script for something at discharge, but said don't use. it.  My wife listened to him and wouldn't let me have any.  I felt like I had gone 12 rounds with Joe Frazier doing the rope a dope.   My abdomen felt extremely bruised.   I have slept on my side forever and would fight 15-20 minutes to get up on my side, only for it to hurt too much and back to my back.  It would take 15-20 minutes to get out of bed.  Once up, it wasn't bad.  The good thing is every day was a better than the previous day.  The best thing is my PSA has been below detection since the surgery 12 tears ago.           

calteg
calteg SuperDork
11/9/23 6:43 p.m.
KyAllroad said:

Paid a piercer to do my nipples.   Mother of god that hurt!  And they never healed so it was for nothing when I had to take them out 18 months later.

Did the same thing the minute I turned 18. No one told me your nips never stop trying to heal, so you will be cleaning them constantly as long as you have them in. For me, that lasted about 3 months.

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